One Year Message from Amanda & Kyle

[00:00:14] [SPEAKER_00]: Happy One Year of The Cult I Left Behind, podcast!

[00:00:18] [SPEAKER_01]: Can you believe it's been a year?

[00:00:21] [SPEAKER_00]: It feels like it's been a lot longer than a year, actually it does.

[00:00:25] [SPEAKER_00]: It's been a lot of life that happened in that year.

[00:00:27] [SPEAKER_00]: We did a lot of life happen.

[00:00:29] [SPEAKER_00]: We just wanted to take some time to check in with everybody and recap how things have

[00:00:36] [SPEAKER_00]: been going on this side of the microphone and some of our favorite moments and some

[00:00:42] [SPEAKER_00]: of the ups and downs.

[00:00:45] [SPEAKER_01]: And take a minute to just say thank you for being part of this journey with us.

[00:00:51] [SPEAKER_01]: When we started this, I thought it would just be our mom's listening.

[00:00:57] [SPEAKER_01]: That's not what ended up happening.

[00:00:59] [SPEAKER_01]: So we're just really grateful for this community, for the support, the love.

[00:01:06] [SPEAKER_01]: We hope that you feel supported and encouraged as you listen to this podcast.

[00:01:13] [SPEAKER_01]: But yeah, I just can't believe it's been a year.

[00:01:16] [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I can't either.

[00:01:17] [SPEAKER_00]: It was more work than I expected it to be.

[00:01:24] [SPEAKER_00]: And on the flip side of that, it was nice to run through and some of this stuff with

[00:01:31] [SPEAKER_00]: you.

[00:01:33] [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, we said it one of the first episodes where I think it's in the intro or whatever.

[00:01:38] [SPEAKER_00]: I really haven't heard some of this stuff and when we get into it, they actually

[00:01:42] [SPEAKER_00]: cult material.

[00:01:43] [SPEAKER_00]: I definitely haven't went through that.

[00:01:46] [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, there was no reason for you to share that when we were like, I didn't end

[00:01:50] [SPEAKER_01]: after me.

[00:01:50] [SPEAKER_01]: You before I married you, I messed up Kyle.

[00:01:54] [SPEAKER_02]: I should have, I've should have done the indoctrination.

[00:01:58] [SPEAKER_00]: So yeah, I mean, there was a ton of learning that went into, I mean, the whole podcast

[00:02:04] [SPEAKER_00]: of reviewing material and talking to you and learning about your life and things that

[00:02:11] [SPEAKER_00]: happened and what it was like for you growing up and your relationships and your biological

[00:02:20] [SPEAKER_00]: family and the friends and people you met along the way and the people that helped

[00:02:26] [SPEAKER_00]: you.

[00:02:28] [SPEAKER_01]: So we've had some intense moments in the last year.

[00:02:32] [SPEAKER_01]: We've had some really tough moments talking about the grittier aspects of the cold

[00:02:39] [SPEAKER_01]: to my experience in it.

[00:02:41] [SPEAKER_01]: I think we've also had some really beautiful and intimate moments too where I really

[00:02:45] [SPEAKER_01]: hope that for everyone listening, like you felt like we were there with you having

[00:02:51] [SPEAKER_01]: coffee or something.

[00:02:53] [SPEAKER_01]: Just some of the not just the lighter, like funnier episodes, but also the ones where

[00:02:58] [SPEAKER_01]: we talked about like mental health and sex and things like that where maybe I think

[00:03:05] [SPEAKER_01]: those topics are way less taboo now, but still just having community where it's safe to talk

[00:03:11] [SPEAKER_01]: about those things and yeah, I hope you feel like we're there laughing with you talking

[00:03:18] [SPEAKER_01]: with you, enjoying a beverage with you.

[00:03:22] [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I mean, people are definitely connecting with your story and the things you've

[00:03:29] [SPEAKER_00]: went through that was an unexpected thing for me was like the amount of feedback we get

[00:03:34] [SPEAKER_00]: and, you know, we just kind of set it up and just started running with the podcast and then

[00:03:38] [SPEAKER_01]: sorry about the first couple episodes and the audio quality again.

[00:03:44] [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, we were just using like, you know, microphone I had for my computer and then

[00:03:50] [SPEAKER_00]: like the staff just started blowing up and I was like, oh, we should probably buy a real mic.

[00:03:56] [SPEAKER_00]: So yeah, but there was just some moments in there of people reaching out and I didn't

[00:04:02] [SPEAKER_00]: expect that.

[00:04:03] [SPEAKER_00]: And I think at some point earlier on, like the hosting provider that we're with,

[00:04:07] [SPEAKER_00]: like, added an option for people like text us but it was it's one way and like we

[00:04:14] [SPEAKER_00]: yeah, it's weird that way.

[00:04:16] [SPEAKER_01]: I think it's for people's privacy like you can contact us but we can contact you back.

[00:04:22] [SPEAKER_00]: Like it matched your phone number and everything but like we can't text you back even if

[00:04:27] [SPEAKER_00]: we wanted to.

[00:04:28] [SPEAKER_00]: But we enabled that because that was just like, I, you know, it's just another way

[00:04:31] [SPEAKER_00]: for people to connect with us and we had the forms up on the website.

[00:04:34] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that's so running.

[00:04:36] [SPEAKER_00]: And we can respond that way.

[00:04:38] [SPEAKER_00]: And through like social media we can respond.

[00:04:41] [SPEAKER_00]: But I, you know, as we started adding those features to the podcast,

[00:04:46] [SPEAKER_00]: you know, people started utilizing them and the stories that were getting

[00:04:51] [SPEAKER_00]: sent our way and people trying to reach out and connect and share their stories like,

[00:04:55] [SPEAKER_01]: it was a honor.

[00:04:57] [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I mean, it was, it was also overwhelming like the in a good way though,

[00:05:03] [SPEAKER_00]: like people were just reaching out and it's just like the influx of stories.

[00:05:06] [SPEAKER_00]: And I didn't expect there to be so many people that connect and had similar stories to yours

[00:05:14] [SPEAKER_00]: that are like tragic stories.

[00:05:16] [SPEAKER_00]: I guess I was just being naive.

[00:05:18] [SPEAKER_00]: And I was like, well, people will find this like interesting.

[00:05:22] [SPEAKER_00]: Your story interesting and and connected with you that way but it was kind of the

[00:05:28] [SPEAKER_00]: reverse of that.

[00:05:30] [SPEAKER_00]: There's a lot of people that are listening that are like, this is

[00:05:33] [SPEAKER_01]: helpful.

[00:05:34] [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, this is helpful and I've gone through certain things and the number of messages that we get

[00:05:39] [SPEAKER_00]: that are like, I went through something similar and it's been so helpful to hear you talk about it

[00:05:45] [SPEAKER_00]: and talk about where you're at now.

[00:05:48] [SPEAKER_00]: It just gives people a lot of hope.

[00:05:50] [SPEAKER_00]: And so it's that was probably the most unexpected part of the whole podcast for me.

[00:05:55] [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm glad that's what it was.

[00:05:58] [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know what I was expecting.

[00:06:00] [SPEAKER_00]: But it was a pleasant surprise.

[00:06:03] [SPEAKER_00]: It was so helpful for people out there listening.

[00:06:07] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I think that was pretty unexpected for me too and that I didn't expect there to be so many

[00:06:14] [SPEAKER_01]: people who felt comfortable reaching out and sharing that.

[00:06:19] [SPEAKER_01]: Like, I'm used to people coming up to me in person and telling me their story but I feel like

[00:06:30] [SPEAKER_01]: you've never talked to face to face.

[00:06:32] [SPEAKER_01]: So I think I've just, I felt so honored that people opened up and shared their story and

[00:06:41] [SPEAKER_01]: that isn't quite as anonymous if you send a message through, you know, social media or through

[00:06:45] [SPEAKER_01]: the website it's going to give us your name.

[00:06:48] [SPEAKER_01]: Or you might be able to change that on the website but like, through social media, if you're using

[00:06:53] [SPEAKER_01]: your personal account and sending a message, like, I just, I have been so touched and so honored

[00:06:58] [SPEAKER_01]: that so many people reached out with their stories and for everyone who sent a message and we

[00:07:03] [SPEAKER_01]: haven't responded yet. Like, please, no, we love you. It's just it were, we're, we're going to

[00:07:10] [SPEAKER_01]: yeah, we want to respond well. So it's, it's slow but I would rather do it slow and right than

[00:07:17] [SPEAKER_01]: fast and wrong. So um, we just keep chipping away at it.

[00:07:22] [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and a lot of them are geared towards you because that's the story they're connecting to.

[00:07:25] [SPEAKER_00]: I can't get in there. You're spot for you because it's not the same. I tried, I attack all the

[00:07:31] [SPEAKER_00]: ones I can. It's also amazing that the number of people that will say like, I've never told

[00:07:36] [SPEAKER_00]: anybody this and then they like share their story with you in those messages. And so it's

[00:07:42] [SPEAKER_00]: clearly connecting with people that they feel comfortable enough. Maybe the anonymity is helpful

[00:07:49] [SPEAKER_00]: for them. They can, you know, shoot you an email and say, hey, here's my story. I feel,

[00:07:56] [SPEAKER_00]: feel like I can say something now or I can at least tell somebody for the first time.

[00:08:01] [SPEAKER_01]: And that's like that is so big. And I'm like, that is not lost on me. That is truly not lost

[00:08:09] [SPEAKER_01]: on me. That people who don't know me in person selected me to be someone that they tell their

[00:08:16] [SPEAKER_01]: story to for the first time. So thank you for trusting me, for trusting us, for sharing,

[00:08:24] [SPEAKER_01]: for listening, for just being part of this crazy journey we're on. An a lighter note, I think one

[00:08:30] [SPEAKER_02]: of the things that wasn't expecting was like the implications for our marriage.

[00:08:38] [SPEAKER_02]: It's amazing. So I can't be mad at you and sit down and record a five gas episode. Like,

[00:08:45] [SPEAKER_02]: I can't do it. I can't. I'm not my authenticity. I'm not aligned.

[00:08:51] [SPEAKER_01]: I think it's been good for our marriage and that we're we're so in this together.

[00:08:58] [SPEAKER_01]: And when stuff comes up, we've got to deal with it. We've got to figure it out together.

[00:09:04] [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, this whole thing started because we're like, oh, we don't have a couple hobby.

[00:09:08] [SPEAKER_01]: What can we do for a couple hobby? I don't know. Let's see what podcasts that no one's going to

[00:09:12] [SPEAKER_01]: and I think it's been really fun like having a regiment to think with you where we've committed

[00:09:19] [SPEAKER_01]: to releasing an episode every Monday. So we plan it out together. We think through,

[00:09:25] [SPEAKER_01]: well, I mean, we plan out the timing of it together in the episodes. You're welcome for my service.

[00:09:31] [SPEAKER_00]: We plan out the topics for the episode. Do you have a running list for them?

[00:09:35] [SPEAKER_01]: We do have that. Yeah, I've just I've enjoyed doing this with you. It's been fun.

[00:09:41] [SPEAKER_00]: Speaking of episodes. Do you have a couple or top three favorite episodes?

[00:09:48] [SPEAKER_01]: I couldn't do it at a top. Okay. I could do a couple. Okay.

[00:09:53] [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, this is actually hard. I think in no particular order, right for the top three, like just three.

[00:10:02] [SPEAKER_02]: Okay. 7 basic needs of husband. I was rolling on the floor for most of that. I'm just

[00:10:09] [SPEAKER_01]: having my head off. And then the episode where I shared my music, the music that saved me.

[00:10:21] [SPEAKER_01]: That one was so scary for me. I almost didn't release it. Like you guys, we almost didn't have an

[00:10:26] [SPEAKER_02]: episode that week because I recorded it. I was like this terrible idea. This is the worst idea

[00:10:31] [SPEAKER_00]: I've ever had. I think it was the first time you recorded by yourself too. Yeah, because we

[00:10:34] [SPEAKER_01]: moved the multi-month move. You weren't there. I had to come up with something and

[00:10:41] [SPEAKER_01]: I did not sleep that night. I was like, this is, I don't know what I just did. This was a bad idea.

[00:10:47] [SPEAKER_01]: But just the outpouring of love from everyone for that episode. It was a growth point for me

[00:10:56] [SPEAKER_01]: to talk about some of that stuff and to have that level of vulnerability to share my music

[00:11:01] [SPEAKER_01]: and share my thoughts about those times in my life. And so that's in my top three. And then I would

[00:11:08] [SPEAKER_01]: have to say actually a more recent episode than when we did with Jennifer, the lawyer, the assistant,

[00:11:16] [SPEAKER_01]: district attorney, that episode and her perspective. Like it was so personally validating for me

[00:11:25] [SPEAKER_01]: just hearing her response to four years in court. And I forgot what episode number that is. Like

[00:11:31] [SPEAKER_01]: it's back in the beginning though. And she's I just love her. She's so fun. And we were talking

[00:11:38] [SPEAKER_01]: about heavy stuff. We were also talking about beautiful stuff and we laughed. Like it was,

[00:11:43] [SPEAKER_00]: it was that like we laughed. We cried. Oh yeah. It was. That was an emotional night. And that was

[00:11:50] [SPEAKER_00]: you know, people didn't hear the planning call that we had with her. There was like three hours or

[00:11:56] [SPEAKER_00]: then I think at least two, two and a half hours long and it flew by. We just had the best time

[00:12:02] [SPEAKER_00]: work. Yeah it was emotional for all of us. I was crying. You were crying. She was crying.

[00:12:07] [SPEAKER_00]: When we were all laughing and you know we didn't miss a beat with her. And then Henry's mom

[00:12:15] [SPEAKER_01]: reached out. We where are you? We can't text you back. And I think you tried to send us pictures

[00:12:23] [SPEAKER_02]: of Henry, but they didn't come through. But yeah that was like that was a moment for me.

[00:12:30] [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah it was kind of surprise. That's the friend friend of Henry thing for everyone. You were very

[00:12:38] [SPEAKER_00]: worried about the music one. You recorded that by yourself and you were like this is I don't think

[00:12:43] [SPEAKER_00]: it's good. I don't I don't I don't you're very uncomfortable with that. And I listened to it before

[00:12:51] [SPEAKER_00]: you released it or you know you finished editing it. And I was like people are going to love this.

[00:12:57] [SPEAKER_00]: It's emotional and it's connective and it gives you like a real insight into young Amanda.

[00:13:06] [SPEAKER_00]: So I'm glad people reacted positive really to that because it was I know that was very uncomfortable

[00:13:12] [SPEAKER_01]: and very scary for you to record. Yeah well I was I was pleasantly surprised by the reaction

[00:13:22] [SPEAKER_01]: to that episode. What about you? So what would you put in your top three? Maybe a little cliche but

[00:13:31] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm putting the first episode in the top three just because it was one we had just watched Fight Club

[00:13:39] [SPEAKER_00]: and I just heard the fight club for the first time. And then you came up with the name for it and

[00:13:43] [SPEAKER_00]: I was very proud of you for like putting two and two together there and coming up with a clever

[00:13:49] [SPEAKER_00]: name based off of Fight Club. But you know that was that was the first episode. I guess I'm a

[00:13:56] [SPEAKER_00]: little sentimental about that that you know that was where we started and that was a long episode

[00:14:03] [SPEAKER_00]: of we had no idea there was no plan. We just sat down. I had tons of research. I remember that

[00:14:10] [SPEAKER_01]: much. I had like pages and pages. No, yeah the first couple episodes you had. They were very

[00:14:15] [SPEAKER_00]: note heavy. Yeah but yeah we didn't have like a structured outline for just like winged it in

[00:14:24] [SPEAKER_00]: and then kept. So that was kind of like I'm ripping out the band aid off moment for me because it was

[00:14:31] [SPEAKER_00]: like I don't know. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know how to podcast. I've never podcasted.

[00:14:35] [SPEAKER_00]: I don't really speak in public. You're public speakers so it was far more natural I'm sure

[00:14:42] [SPEAKER_00]: but it can tell you much more well spoken than I am. So that was one of my favorite episodes

[00:14:49] [SPEAKER_00]: just kind of getting started. The seven basic needs primarily the seven basic needs of a husband

[00:14:56] [SPEAKER_00]: which is hilarious. Bad and the how different and even the depth like how much content was there

[00:15:07] [SPEAKER_00]: for the seven basic needs of a husband or so wife and the disparity there was amazing in like say

[00:15:13] [SPEAKER_00]: that and like the truest shock and awe. So the word amazing and I don't think we've laughed that

[00:15:19] [SPEAKER_00]: all are on any other episode. So that was one of my favorites then obviously I have to put

[00:15:26] [SPEAKER_00]: the demonic cabbage patch dolls. I couldn't believe that story it made total since

[00:15:35] [SPEAKER_00]: when you were telling it but I was like really you had to burn your cabbage patch dolls and your

[00:15:41] [SPEAKER_00]: toys like this is messed up especially you know to do that too. Oh yeah. Oh I was interested

[00:15:47] [SPEAKER_02]: you should get me one for Chris. I think that's a brilliant idea. I would put it in my office.

[00:15:54] [SPEAKER_00]: So again those were my my top three episodes of a specific order. I'm surprised.

[00:16:02] [SPEAKER_01]: Not the seven basic needs of a husband. I'm not surprised about Alan but the other two I am.

[00:16:06] [SPEAKER_00]: Were you surprised by mine? No. That makes sense. Makes sense for you and I and I thoroughly enjoyed

[00:16:15] [SPEAKER_00]: talking to Jennifer too that was that was up there we haven't done too many guest episodes.

[00:16:21] [SPEAKER_00]: But we have some coming up. Yeah stay tuned there's more. But yes those have been fun and

[00:16:27] [SPEAKER_00]: interesting to navigate and try to figure out the logistics and the technical aspects of that

[00:16:33] [SPEAKER_00]: and you know it's definitely helping us grow a little bit as we get into this podcasting journey.

[00:16:40] [SPEAKER_01]: Well we wouldn't be here doing this if there weren't people like you who

[00:16:44] [SPEAKER_01]: listened so thank you for being part of our community. We are working on getting weekly videos

[00:16:52] [SPEAKER_01]: out on our social media answering questions. So did the first one last week we got another one

[00:16:57] [SPEAKER_01]: coming this week. I'm excited for the next phase of the whole tile of behind. I'm excited for

[00:17:05] [SPEAKER_01]: the community that's forming or still working on stuff like getting a Facebook like a closed

[00:17:11] [SPEAKER_01]: group or a discord or something and we really do appreciate your patience. We have had so much

[00:17:18] [SPEAKER_01]: going on like in our personal lives behind the scenes that y'all don't see and this has been a

[00:17:26] [SPEAKER_01]: really fun part of life for me but that being said we haven't forgotten about the community building

[00:17:34] [SPEAKER_01]: aspect of this and there's more to come. We also have had listeners send us some

[00:17:42] [SPEAKER_00]: cult materials that we haven't. Yeah, that's a secret. I let you in on the secret it's coming.

[00:17:50] [SPEAKER_00]: So yeah stay tuned for that but yeah thanks everybody for tuning in and all the kind words

[00:17:56] [SPEAKER_01]: and sharing your stories with us and sharing the podcasts with with people you know. I think that's

[00:18:05] [SPEAKER_01]: in addition to being honored that people share their stories with us like it's also an honor that

[00:18:11] [SPEAKER_01]: people share the podcasts with people they know love care about so yeah. All that's the other

[00:18:19] [SPEAKER_00]: thing that I did expect was how many people around the world were going to listen to it like

[00:18:26] [SPEAKER_00]: this nerve-race is primarily in the United States but it's also a 144 other countries.

[00:18:34] [SPEAKER_00]: I haven't even checked that recently I looked at it before this. Yeah there's there's big

[00:18:40] [SPEAKER_00]: pockets of listeners and specific countries and we get messages from those folks and I was just like

[00:18:48] [SPEAKER_00]: wow that's crazy that someone's acting the global impact halfway across the world is

[00:18:53] [SPEAKER_00]: is listening to the podcast and sending us messages and sending us their perspectives and

[00:19:01] [SPEAKER_01]: experiences like that is in addition to just being fascinating. It's been really helpful like

[00:19:09] [SPEAKER_01]: we've had so many people message in just like culturally how they understand things and it's just

[00:19:16] [SPEAKER_01]: enriched our lives personally but also the podcast. So yeah I was not expecting that

[00:19:23] [SPEAKER_01]: and sometimes sometimes I think about the fact that people around the world listen to me you know

[00:19:31] [SPEAKER_01]: cry but it's okay because I do think that healing happens in community and even if that

[00:19:39] [SPEAKER_01]: community is us on microphones and you wherever you are doing, doing life and listening. I think

[00:19:53] [SPEAKER_01]: that with love and acceptance and that's definitely what I feel from my listener base is that

[00:19:59] [SPEAKER_01]: you know we get on here I tell these stories and they're overwhelmingly met with love and acceptance

[00:20:06] [SPEAKER_01]: which is just phenomenal like you guys rock. I don't think that's normal. Yeah I don't know

[00:20:17] [SPEAKER_00]: guys or so I don't know but I am happy that we have good folks listening that are

[00:20:26] [SPEAKER_00]: helpful and and share their stories with us and open up to us when they feel safe to do so

[00:20:35] [SPEAKER_00]: and I'm glad that your story is getting out there and helping people. So with all that being said

[00:20:41] [SPEAKER_00]: thanks again we love you guys I appreciate everything. Appreciate you listening. There's a lot more

[00:20:49] [SPEAKER_02]: good stuff to come and how we saw to get through all of the marriage principles so

[00:20:57] [SPEAKER_01]: buckle up we're still in for a ride and then we've got some some fun episodes planned after that.

[00:21:05] [SPEAKER_00]: All right well that will wrap up our little message for today it's been a hell of a year

[00:21:10] [SPEAKER_00]: we appreciate you guys and we'll be back on Monday.