About US
Welcome to Our Podcast
Hi! We're Amanda and Kyle, a newly-ish married couple. The Cult I Left Behind covers Amanda’s
upbringing in the IBLP cult of Duggar infamy - a story Kyle learns about along with listeners. Through sometimes humorous,
sometimes heartbreaking stories, we explore the cult’s ideology,
the strange rules that surrounded Amanda’s childhood, and the abuse she endured before leaving the cult. Through it all, we talk about what it takes to break
free from a cult and what gets left behind.
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Recent Episodes
96 - Exposure Isn't Change
We’re often told that exposure leads to change. That once harm is named, brought...
95 - Jeffrey Epstein, Bill Gothard, and the Architecture of Abuse
In 2024, as public conversations about abuse, grooming, and accountability unfol...
94 - Creating Joy When Life Has Been Heavy
The holidays come with an expectation of joy. For many people, that expectation ...
93 – Am I a Bad Person? (Moral Scrupulosity OCD)
In this episode, Amanda and Kyle dive into moral scrupulosity OCD and how it has...
First Family Sickness & Thanksgiving Wishes
We’ll see you next week, when we’re feeling better, for an episode Amanda is so ...
92 - A Day in the Life of a Deconstructing Parent
Sit in on the first conversation Amanda and Kyle have had together about what th...
91 - Holy Disruptor: Breaking the Silence and the Rules
Amy Duggar King joins us to talk about her new book Holy Disruptor, and she does...
90 - From Resilience to Resourcefulness: Elizabeth Estabrooks on Trauma Recovery
Author, veteran, and advocate Elizabeth Estabrooks joins Amanda and Kyle to expl...
89 - Dear Diary, Everything Has Changed
In this episode of The Cult I Left Behind, Amanda once more opens up her old dia...
From Our Listeners...
“ “
I Love the Interaction
It's great to hear Kyle's stunned comments and laughter at
the ridiculousness throughout. Lol 😂
Emily S.
Gives Me Hope
Hearing this episode, hearing the lessons you have learned and share, gives hope for healing. My favorite piece of advice “lean into the love that’s there." Thanks for being open and honest!Sarah G.
“ “
Like Listening to My Friend
Loved to hear the story. Clear to understand.
Melody W.
I Am So Proud of You Two
Thank you for this podcast. You have helped me in so many ways and I am forever grateful for your podcast and how you so clearly and at many times humorously tackle some really big topics with grace and respect. Best wishes from New Zealand.Aroha W.
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Apple Podcasts Reviews
So far so good!
As a survivor of the same cult, I’m finding it interesting to hear someone else’s view on IBLP/Gothard. I spent most of my time at the Moscow Training Center, so my experience was probably a bit different. I’ve only listened to episode one so far, but I can say that it’s accurate to my knowledge and it’s being well pre...
Read MoreSo far so good!
As a survivor of the same cult, I’m finding it interesting to hear someone else’s view on IBLP/Gothard. I spent most of my time at the Moscow Training Center, so my experience was probably a bit different. I’ve only listened to episode one so far, but I can say that it’s accurate to my knowledge and it’s being well pre...
Read MoreBrave, Enlightening, and Entertaining
Amanda’s courage and transparency are admirable. Though I was not part of IBLP I was in an extremely high control church for about 12 years. So much of her story is unfortunately relatable. Kyle is so patient and a great cohost/listener.