50 - The Seven Phases of a Godly Courtship Part 2

[00:00:01] [SPEAKER_04]: Hi everyone, welcome to The Cult I Left Behind podcast.

[00:00:06] [SPEAKER_04]: I'm your host, Amanda Briggs, and I'm here to tell you my stories of growing up in the

[00:00:11] [SPEAKER_04]: IBLP cult which you might know from the Duggar family.

[00:00:15] [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm your other host, Kyle Briggs.

[00:00:17] [SPEAKER_01]: I am Amanda's husband and I have not heard most of these stories before so stay tuned

[00:00:22] [SPEAKER_01]: and we'll all get traumatized together.

[00:00:30] [SPEAKER_02]: Alright, welcome back to the next episode.

[00:00:32] [SPEAKER_02]: We are on part two of Seven Phases of a Godly Courtship.

[00:00:37] [SPEAKER_04]: Of which we did how many?

[00:00:40] [SPEAKER_02]: First three.

[00:00:41] [SPEAKER_04]: Well, I mean us personally when we started getting to know each other.

[00:00:46] [SPEAKER_04]: Oh.

[00:00:47] [SPEAKER_04]: None? Zero?

[00:00:48] [SPEAKER_04]: I sure as heck was now gleaning fields and stuff.

[00:00:54] [SPEAKER_04]: Oh yes, definitely not.

[00:00:55] [SPEAKER_04]: You were pretty financially independent but you didn't build me a house with your bare hands.

[00:01:00] [SPEAKER_04]: Not yet.

[00:01:01] [SPEAKER_02]: I feel like I could do that one day.

[00:01:04] [SPEAKER_04]: No.

[00:01:04] [SPEAKER_04]: I don't have no home renovation in my lifetime again.

[00:01:08] [SPEAKER_02]: Not living in this renovation this time though.

[00:01:12] [SPEAKER_02]: Build a log cabin in the woods with my bare hands.

[00:01:20] [SPEAKER_04]: Maybe someday.

[00:01:22] [SPEAKER_04]: Do I have to be there?

[00:01:24] [SPEAKER_04]: No.

[00:01:24] [SPEAKER_04]: Oh, that's right.

[00:01:25] [SPEAKER_04]: My part is just to show up with no expectations.

[00:01:27] [SPEAKER_02]: Well you're not capable of helping him yet.

[00:01:33] [SPEAKER_02]: Which we've proven.

[00:01:35] [SPEAKER_02]: But he also said I put before you.

[00:01:36] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, we've proven that wrong in the previous home renovation so.

[00:01:43] [SPEAKER_02]: Alright, so what's next on?

[00:01:45] [SPEAKER_04]: I'm just, I'm trying to procrastinate.

[00:01:48] [SPEAKER_04]: But okay, alright.

[00:01:51] [SPEAKER_04]: We left off with her submission because I just couldn't handle it anymore last week.

[00:01:57] [SPEAKER_04]: So the fourth phase of a godly courtship is his proper expressions of favor and the consistency

[00:02:04] [SPEAKER_04]: of her submission.

[00:02:06] [SPEAKER_02]: Are you consistently submissive Amanda?

[00:02:11] [SPEAKER_04]: Fuck no.

[00:02:13] [SPEAKER_04]: That's not our dynamic anyways.

[00:02:16] [SPEAKER_04]: Would you like me if I were just a simpering little housewife who was like,

[00:02:21] [SPEAKER_04]: how can I obey you today Kyle?

[00:02:24] [SPEAKER_02]: No, I mean that feels clingy to me.

[00:02:29] [SPEAKER_02]: It gives me anxiety.

[00:02:31] [SPEAKER_04]: Okay, well luckily for you.

[00:02:34] [SPEAKER_04]: I'm not like that.

[00:02:35] [SPEAKER_04]: Not even remotely.

[00:02:37] [SPEAKER_04]: Alright so basically Boaz was wise because he recognized that anyone

[00:02:45] [SPEAKER_04]: that he liked should be someone whom god wants to favor.

[00:02:51] [SPEAKER_00]: Huh.

[00:02:52] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, and then he also demonstrated wisdom in the way he showed favor to Ruth,

[00:02:59] [SPEAKER_04]: you know by letting her have the leftovers from his field.

[00:03:04] [SPEAKER_04]: And he did so quietly through his reapers like he didn't approach her.

[00:03:09] [SPEAKER_04]: He had his people approach her or not approach her or something.

[00:03:13] [SPEAKER_04]: And that way he avoided resentment.

[00:03:19] [SPEAKER_04]: I don't understand that.

[00:03:21] [SPEAKER_04]: By doing it quietly through his reapers he avoided resentment toward him and her

[00:03:25] [SPEAKER_04]: because he was favoring her, that's why.

[00:03:28] [SPEAKER_04]: He was showing her special privileges.

[00:03:31] [SPEAKER_02]: How does that not build resentment though?

[00:03:34] [SPEAKER_02]: Well people didn't know.

[00:03:36] [SPEAKER_04]: Well because people would be like oh Boaz is favoring Ruth.

[00:03:40] [SPEAKER_02]: Yes, okay.

[00:03:41] [SPEAKER_04]: But then the advanced seminar says when favor is properly given to those who deserve it,

[00:03:45] [SPEAKER_04]: other share in the joy of it and in the gratefulness for it.

[00:03:50] [SPEAKER_04]: So Ruth deserved this because she was a good, quiet little submissive meek mouse in the corner.

[00:03:55] [SPEAKER_04]: Had she been anything else she wouldn't have deserved the favor.

[00:03:59] [SPEAKER_04]: God and Boaz gave her.

[00:04:01] [SPEAKER_04]: And then the consistency of her submission.

[00:04:05] [SPEAKER_04]: Okay so Ruth was blessed by God because she remained under the protection of her

[00:04:10] [SPEAKER_04]: God ordained authorities.

[00:04:13] [SPEAKER_04]: Had she not, she would not have been blessed by God.

[00:04:16] [SPEAKER_02]: Which in this case is her.

[00:04:18] [SPEAKER_02]: She was following her mother-in-law around.

[00:04:20] [SPEAKER_02]: Her mother-in-law?

[00:04:21] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah so uh she could.

[00:04:23] [SPEAKER_02]: It's kind of interesting that like in this particular story she's under the umbrella

[00:04:29] [SPEAKER_02]: of protection or whatever under the umbrella of authority but it's her mother-in-law and

[00:04:34] [SPEAKER_02]: not her father-in-law.

[00:04:36] [SPEAKER_04]: He was dead.

[00:04:37] [SPEAKER_02]: What? Is that normal in the cult?

[00:04:39] [SPEAKER_02]: Like would that actually.

[00:04:41] [SPEAKER_04]: Well as long as the mother-in-law is under some man then I guess yeah would be okay.

[00:04:47] [SPEAKER_02]: That man wouldn't be God though it would have to be like.

[00:04:50] [SPEAKER_02]: A man.

[00:04:50] [SPEAKER_02]: Her deceased husband's brother or something.

[00:04:55] [SPEAKER_02]: Or a pastor.

[00:04:56] [SPEAKER_02]: Okay yeah.

[00:04:58] [SPEAKER_04]: So initially Ruth asked her mother-in-law's permission to go into the field in Glean

[00:05:03] [SPEAKER_04]: which is very important you have to have permission for everything.

[00:05:07] [SPEAKER_04]: Mm-hmm and then she continued to remain under the protection of her mother-in-law by reviewing

[00:05:14] [SPEAKER_04]: with her the instructions Bo has it given her.

[00:05:17] [SPEAKER_04]: So she was specifically under authority because when a guy had interaction with her

[00:05:24] [SPEAKER_04]: she went back and talked to her parent about it.

[00:05:27] [SPEAKER_04]: Very important.

[00:05:29] [SPEAKER_02]: It sounds familiar.

[00:05:30] [SPEAKER_04]: A woman with true obedience continues to keep her God-given authorities involved

[00:05:36] [SPEAKER_04]: in decision-making even when those decisions seem obvious at the moment.

[00:05:42] [SPEAKER_04]: This allows authorities to rejoice in God's blessings and to be well informed for the next

[00:05:48] [SPEAKER_04]: counsel to be given.

[00:05:50] [SPEAKER_02]: That is creepy to me.

[00:05:52] [SPEAKER_04]: Yep Ruth's spirit of obedience was also demonstrated when she came to the field to Glean.

[00:05:59] [SPEAKER_04]: The law allowed the poor to Glean and she could have simply demanded her legal right.

[00:06:04] [SPEAKER_04]: Instead she asked the foreman for permission.

[00:06:08] [SPEAKER_04]: So holy, so righteous, so godly and chaste which brings us right to the fifth phase of

[00:06:22] [SPEAKER_04]: a godly courtship which is his decisiveness with the right timing because remember timing is

[00:06:28] [SPEAKER_04]: everything and you might think it's the right time but if your God-given authority doesn't

[00:06:33] [SPEAKER_04]: then it's definitely not and you should cancel everything even though you're an adult but whatever

[00:06:41] [SPEAKER_04]: and then the courage of her willing response.

[00:06:46] [SPEAKER_02]: The courage of her willing response.

[00:06:50] [SPEAKER_02]: Why does that feel like just a very fancy way of her decision?

[00:06:54] [SPEAKER_03]: Because they just make shit up with this.

[00:06:57] [SPEAKER_03]: I don't know.

[00:06:57] [SPEAKER_03]: It's just weird to say the courage of her response.

[00:07:03] [SPEAKER_04]: They just need stuff to put in the chart and to fill the seminar and the textbook.

[00:07:09] [SPEAKER_04]: They need you to spend money and buy it.

[00:07:11] [SPEAKER_04]: So I don't remember the whole Ruth and Boaz story anymore like I haven't read this part

[00:07:17] [SPEAKER_04]: of the Bible or the Bible in general in quite a while but I think there was this concept

[00:07:23] [SPEAKER_04]: within their culture of like if the husband died then a relative in a certain and I think it had to

[00:07:31] [SPEAKER_04]: be a specific type of relative like he could step in as I think it was a concept called the

[00:07:36] [SPEAKER_04]: kinsman redeemer and marry the widow and then like continue the line of the dead relative and

[00:07:43] [SPEAKER_04]: also provide for the widow.

[00:07:45] [SPEAKER_04]: So Naomi the mother-in-law under whose authority Ruth falls according to Bill

[00:07:53] [SPEAKER_04]: so she goes to Boaz and is like hey my husband died you're my kinsman redeemer this is I think the

[00:07:58] [SPEAKER_04]: part where she like slept at his feet but they skip all this in the advanced seminar.

[00:08:03] [SPEAKER_04]: I don't know maybe they verbally discussed it and it just goes straight to Ruth it just appealed

[00:08:07] [SPEAKER_04]: to him to fulfill his kinsman's responsibility following the instructions of her mother-in-law

[00:08:12] [SPEAKER_04]: again obeying Naomi.

[00:08:14] [SPEAKER_04]: Accordingly he would need to redeem Naomi's husband's land and marry Ruth for the purpose

[00:08:21] [SPEAKER_04]: of continuing the name of Naomi's husband oh so this isn't even for Ruth this is for Naomi.

[00:08:26] [SPEAKER_04]: She's like so under authority Kyle Ruth is oh my goodness so holy so Boaz was aware of this potential

[00:08:34] [SPEAKER_04]: responsibility and had determined that he would become the kinsman redeemer if Naomi and Ruth

[00:08:39] [SPEAKER_04]: requested it he had also determined the hindrance to his becoming the kinsman redeemer

[00:08:44] [SPEAKER_04]: and he had evaluated the effect of the decision on the entire community.

[00:08:49] [SPEAKER_04]: Boaz's decisiveness was perceived by Naomi when she assured her daughter-in-law the next morning

[00:08:55] [SPEAKER_04]: sit still my daughter until thou know how the matter will fall for the man

[00:09:00] [SPEAKER_04]: will not be in rest until he have finished the thing this day Ruth 318 oh my gosh the

[00:09:07] [SPEAKER_04]: King James version so yeah Ruth is doing all of this to to fix Naomi's husband's line

[00:09:16] [SPEAKER_04]: and Naomi's husband's land the most holiest of holy under authority things.

[00:09:23] [SPEAKER_02]: I feel like that's a weird thing like that whole concept is just strange

[00:09:29] [SPEAKER_02]: that you know in those circumstances like oh well now I'm widowed so I gotta go marry

[00:09:37] [SPEAKER_02]: you know my deceased husband's brother or uncle or something like that just to keep it

[00:09:46] [SPEAKER_04]: keep the line going. Well keep in mind that women have been oppressed since forever and it was also

[00:09:50] [SPEAKER_04]: a way for them to be protected and provided for since culturally societally they were unable

[00:09:55] [SPEAKER_02]: to do it for themselves until fairly recently. I mean that's one reason it also feels like a lot of

[00:10:03] [SPEAKER_02]: control that like or I don't know maybe it's a sense of legacy entitlement or a sense of

[00:10:13] [SPEAKER_02]: responsibility from the man's family to like have to take them in I don't know it's a very weird

[00:10:21] [SPEAKER_04]: thing. It's a cultural thing that yeah I think I know some cultures still do I think Orthodox

[00:10:26] [SPEAKER_04]: Judaism still honors this there was there was actually a movie about it I forget what it was

[00:10:32] [SPEAKER_04]: called it's a pretty good movie okay the courage of her willing response so what did what did Ruth

[00:10:39] [SPEAKER_04]: do? God bless Ruth through Boaz and her mother-in-law had given her precise directions on how to

[00:10:46] [SPEAKER_04]: approach Boaz for marriage according to the custom of that day however Ruth had no one

[00:10:51] [SPEAKER_04]: her heart that it was right and she had to be willing to do it. God never forces a person to

[00:10:56] [SPEAKER_04]: get married through the influence of his or her authorities because the very nature of love

[00:11:02] [SPEAKER_04]: requires a choice that's hilarious because that definitely uh was not always how it went down

[00:11:07] [SPEAKER_04]: in the cold there were definitely some people who like were arranged, marriage off

[00:11:14] [SPEAKER_04]: in yeah um responding to love must also be done with propriety without giving any appearance of evil

[00:11:22] [SPEAKER_04]: even though she was sleeping at his feet at a party so apparently you can go sleep at someone's

[00:11:28] [SPEAKER_04]: feet at a party and you're still behaving appropriately according to Bill just saying

[00:11:32] [SPEAKER_04]: so then we get to to number six uh phase six of a godly courtship his public thoroughness

[00:11:40] [SPEAKER_04]: and then it says above reproach that's another thing they like to say and her commitment to marriage

[00:11:47] [SPEAKER_04]: purposes yeah hate the purposes thing oh yeah yeah you would not have made it i've never heard that

[00:11:54] [SPEAKER_02]: like use that way like a purpose is a thing not you purpose to well i don't know maybe i'm just

[00:12:02] [SPEAKER_04]: used to it because i grew up hearing it all the time but Boaz followed every law statue custom

[00:12:09] [SPEAKER_04]: everything legal in his social setting um he made sure that there were ample witnesses who would not

[00:12:17] [SPEAKER_04]: only give him and Ruth their blessing but could spread the good news to everyone else in the city

[00:12:22] [SPEAKER_04]: um and Boaz had already earned the respect of all the people in the city and Ruth was admired

[00:12:27] [SPEAKER_04]: because of her dedication to Naomi and her reputation as a virtuous woman

[00:12:33] [SPEAKER_04]: huh now everyone was able to rejoice when they saw the godly motives toward their marriage and the

[00:12:39] [SPEAKER_04]: spiritual potential which their union could have for the lord's people i don't remember like i said

[00:12:46] [SPEAKER_04]: the whole rhythm boaz story but i don't think they were like how can we be an example in the

[00:12:51] [SPEAKER_04]: advanced seminar textbook someday like i'm pretty sure that bill is extrapolating pretty hard here

[00:12:57] [SPEAKER_04]: um so her commitment to marriage purposes by asking boaz to be her kinsman redeemer

[00:13:02] [SPEAKER_04]: ruth was demonstrating her commitment to god's purposes and marriage and her devotion to her

[00:13:07] [SPEAKER_04]: remaining family i don't know if ruth was thinking about god's purposes in marriage i think she

[00:13:13] [SPEAKER_04]: was thinking like how can i not starve to death in the next famine well that's i believe that

[00:13:18] [SPEAKER_02]: but you also said something about like her commitment or her uh her commitment to god's

[00:13:25] [SPEAKER_04]: purposes in marriage and her devotion to her remaining family devotion to family wasn't that part

[00:13:30] [SPEAKER_04]: of well that's like marriage isn't about you it's about your parents and your family wasn't one of

[00:13:35] [SPEAKER_02]: the earlier points about like being faithful to your family or like uh loyal to your family

[00:13:42] [SPEAKER_04]: is like oh yeah yes yes that's part of how you know if it's gonna if she's gonna be a good

[00:13:47] [SPEAKER_04]: wife guys is she loyal to her family so this is just like an extension of that like

[00:13:52] [SPEAKER_02]: well now your your husband's dead but your loyalty to your family still exists yep um ruth was no

[00:13:59] [SPEAKER_04]: longer bound by the marriage vows to her first husband however she had an opportunity to honor

[00:14:04] [SPEAKER_04]: her dead husband's name protect his property and fulfill one of the goals of their marriage

[00:14:09] [SPEAKER_04]: by marrying the kinsman and raising up a child to inherit her first husband's land boaz was

[00:14:15] [SPEAKER_04]: deeply impressed with her willingness to overlook more attractive offers for marriage in order to

[00:14:20] [SPEAKER_04]: fulfill the spirit of her original vows did she have more attractive offers i don't remember it was like

[00:14:26] [SPEAKER_04]: and then ruth being a virtuous woman gleaning in the field had 300 suitors seeking her but no

[00:14:34] [SPEAKER_04]: she righteously chose boaz to honor her dead husband i don't remember that part of it listeners

[00:14:41] [SPEAKER_04]: if you read the bible or you remember let us know if ruth turned down more attractive offers

[00:14:47] [SPEAKER_04]: for marriage for boaz um and then and then finally the the final phase of a godly courtship

[00:14:57] [SPEAKER_04]: is god's blessing upon the marriage families and world when his order of courtship has been followed

[00:15:03] [SPEAKER_04]: so so this is god's order of courtship it has to go friendship courtship marriage because bill

[00:15:11] [SPEAKER_04]: said so and if you do that god will bless the marriage the families and the world

[00:15:18] [SPEAKER_04]: the antithesis of that of course is if you do not god will curse everything because you didn't get

[00:15:23] [SPEAKER_04]: married the right way so definitely try to get married the right way otherwise god's gonna

[00:15:27] [SPEAKER_04]: curse all of us not just you we're all gonna suffer the world so so let's see there's just

[00:15:34] [SPEAKER_04]: a bunch of bible verses that prove this and here's what it says this is ruth for 13 to 17 so boaz

[00:15:44] [SPEAKER_04]: took ruth and she was his wife and when he went in unto her which you know obviously means sex

[00:15:51] [SPEAKER_04]: but that's how they said it in the king james version the lord gave her conception and she bore

[00:15:57] [SPEAKER_04]: a son and the woman said unto niomy blessed be the lord which had not left thee this day without a

[00:16:06] [SPEAKER_04]: kinsman that his name may be famous in israel and he shall be unto thee a restorer of thy life

[00:16:13] [SPEAKER_04]: and a nourisher of thine old age for thy daughter-in-law which loveth thee which is better to thee

[00:16:20] [SPEAKER_04]: than seven sons hath borne him oh my gosh the bible said something good about a woman

[00:16:24] [SPEAKER_04]: better than seven sons and niomy took the child and laid it in her bosom and became nurse unto it

[00:16:31] [SPEAKER_04]: they always portray niomy as like this super old woman but like she was a wet nurse so she could

[00:16:37] [SPEAKER_04]: still lactate so like i don't know why that woman is unable to lactate anymore but she looked like

[00:16:43] [SPEAKER_04]: she was 187 and like all the picture books i saw growing up um just a side note and the woman

[00:16:49] [SPEAKER_04]: her neighbors gave it a name saying there is a son born to niomy and they call his name obed and he

[00:16:56] [SPEAKER_04]: is the father of jesse the father of david so so there is nothing from bill that proves god's

[00:17:04] [SPEAKER_04]: blessing upon the marriage families and world when his order of courtship has been followed

[00:17:09] [SPEAKER_04]: except that uh this is the line of david so obviously that means since it worked for them

[00:17:14] [SPEAKER_04]: it will work for everyone in fact listener it will work for you in this year of our lord 2024

[00:17:21] [SPEAKER_04]: get married the right way people so so that is how you court appropriately do all of those things

[00:17:29] [SPEAKER_04]: um and and if you end up you know sleeping at some guys feed at a party please let me know

[00:17:37] [SPEAKER_04]: let me know how that works out you know god's blessings and definitely um

[00:17:43] [SPEAKER_04]: you know move in with your mother-in-law and be better than seven sons and that's it like this

[00:17:52] [SPEAKER_04]: is it simple kyle it's a very simple path to a holy marriage i'm wondering at what point

[00:17:58] [SPEAKER_02]: it's not gonna surprise me how bill comes up with these stories and twist things around i don't know

[00:18:09] [SPEAKER_02]: i think it's like it's that's a stretch and i shouldn't be surprised that like that's a stretch

[00:18:13] [SPEAKER_02]: that like that's the one story he chose like this like how many relationships do you see in the

[00:18:20] [SPEAKER_02]: bible like there was a lot of like there's a lot of people in the bible a lot of marriages a

[00:18:25] [SPEAKER_02]: lot of families a lot of like all that kind of stuff and that's the one that was they are the best

[00:18:32] [SPEAKER_04]: one kyle okay they're the best one because ruth was so under authority she was so good at being

[00:18:39] [SPEAKER_04]: under authority like even when the men were dead she was still under their authority

[00:18:46] [SPEAKER_04]: stellar woman right there specimen of femininity

[00:18:53] [SPEAKER_02]: so how how much was this pushed in the cult like oh i mean like you wanted to be ruth as a young

[00:19:01] [SPEAKER_04]: woman or a girl in the cult like ruth was the bomb ruth was it ruth was everything because a lot of

[00:19:10] [SPEAKER_04]: david's like even his earlier wives messed up and sinned and did bad stuff and like you had very

[00:19:17] [SPEAKER_04]: few women who weren't bad in the bible in some way shape or form so when there was a good one like ruth

[00:19:24] [SPEAKER_04]: like holy of the holies she didn't do a thing wrong she was she was wonderful so you wanted to be ruth

[00:19:32] [SPEAKER_04]: for sure was there a lot of girls named ruth in the cult yes there were there were a lot of ruths

[00:19:39] [SPEAKER_04]: in the cult yes um and sarah's and elizabeth's

[00:19:46] [SPEAKER_02]: i think they were like the best women in the bible yeah like there's other examples

[00:19:50] [SPEAKER_04]: no but they like there were problems because like with sarah so she was married to abraham

[00:19:57] [SPEAKER_04]: so she lost faith even though god told her she was gonna have a baby in her old age she lost faith

[00:20:04] [SPEAKER_04]: and she gave her husband her handmaiden to have a baby there was like a whole thing

[00:20:10] [SPEAKER_04]: like ham maiden's tale the book and the tv show it's like based on the concept from that where you

[00:20:17] [SPEAKER_04]: like bear the child on basically the lap of the wife and then it's her kid instead of the

[00:20:24] [SPEAKER_04]: handmade's kid it's it's pretty but it was a cultural thing back then but i don't know i think

[00:20:29] [SPEAKER_04]: it's really weird so she does that so so she's she's faithless kyle can't sarah no no like she was okay

[00:20:37] [SPEAKER_04]: till the end and the other thing oh my gosh there was a whole sermon series because abraham like sells

[00:20:42] [SPEAKER_04]: sarah off or lets the pharaoh or someone like takes sarah away and she's like a concubine

[00:20:49] [SPEAKER_04]: but somehow that sarah's fault even though abraham sent her off like he just was like oh i'm

[00:20:55] [SPEAKER_04]: you want my wife your shoes take her like but i think somehow in the sermon series on that in the

[00:21:01] [SPEAKER_04]: cult also why was i listening to stuff like that as a young child why was that church that we were

[00:21:07] [SPEAKER_04]: expected to participate in so like somehow that was sarah's fault too not surprised yeah so you

[00:21:15] [SPEAKER_04]: wanted to be ruth there were no stories like that about ruth she was just a shiny example

[00:21:22] [SPEAKER_02]: of obedience and submission i'm laughing because i find it funny like we don't talk about the bible

[00:21:30] [SPEAKER_02]: like in normal times like when we're not recording the podcast even though you went to like bible school

[00:21:37] [SPEAKER_02]: and it's not normally part of our discussions and in everyday life and then it's just like

[00:21:43] [SPEAKER_02]: you just rip all this stuff out you were like back in the day like yours all this

[00:21:49] [SPEAKER_02]: and you were like and most of the time like these stories like when you're telling them like okay

[00:21:54] [SPEAKER_02]: i remember that but there was no way if you asked me a question about any of those that i'd be able

[00:21:59] [SPEAKER_04]: to recall them and be like here's the story my professors would be proud is that what you're

[00:22:06] [SPEAKER_04]: saying yeah my biblical education worked you definitely memorized it historical cultural

[00:22:16] [SPEAKER_04]: context was my favorite part of that whole thing roads someday we'll talk about roads and why

[00:22:22] [SPEAKER_04]: i like roads so much but yeah so now you know how to court in the most godlyest of godly ways

[00:22:30] [SPEAKER_04]: definitely go do that let us know how it goes um i won't be doing that ever again

[00:22:37] [SPEAKER_02]: was this just the one story and this is in the advanced seminar like this was the holy

[00:22:43] [SPEAKER_04]: grail of courtship lessons or was it like and then and then they were like oh here i can read this this

[00:22:50] [SPEAKER_04]: is also from the advanced seminar um there were testimonies of people who did it this way oh no

[00:22:58] [SPEAKER_04]: from a father one prime example again well we have one from a father from a daughter and from a son

[00:23:03] [SPEAKER_04]: one one each but that's better than most examples we only have one story three times many

[00:23:09] [SPEAKER_04]: stories okay so from a father i would just like to say that my daughter and i purposed three years ago

[00:23:16] [SPEAKER_04]: purposed your favorite here three years ago never uses a verb here at the ibyc when it was

[00:23:23] [SPEAKER_04]: institute basic youth complex uh seminar to apply your four decisions prior to dating six

[00:23:29] [SPEAKER_04]: months ago we had our first opportunity to put it into effect our because yeah her dating

[00:23:37] [SPEAKER_04]: yes it worked wonderfully and the relationship has been tremendous i strongly recommend and

[00:23:43] [SPEAKER_04]: encourage others to follow this program because it worked for six months we don't know what happened

[00:23:47] [SPEAKER_04]: after that but for the first six months of work okay from a daughter this is my third seminar my

[00:23:53] [SPEAKER_04]: first was in 1972 when i was 23 years of age and only one year old as a christian after hearing

[00:24:01] [SPEAKER_04]: about the section on dating i committed myself to wait on god for a mate and to never again

[00:24:06] [SPEAKER_04]: engage in a physical relationship until i was married you see before i became a christian i was

[00:24:12] [SPEAKER_04]: very immoral well here i sit 12 years later having kept the commitment next to me is my husband we

[00:24:18] [SPEAKER_04]: have been married for one year what a blessing worth waiting for because of my commitment he

[00:24:25] [SPEAKER_04]: has confidence knowing that i believe god and keep his commandments and hold the marriage

[00:24:29] [SPEAKER_04]: bed in honor thank you for teaching god's truths in love ps if you can use this information

[00:24:35] [SPEAKER_04]: please feel free to do so maybe it will help others that's interesting that they put the permission

[00:24:42] [SPEAKER_04]: in the statement from a son i just wanted to write a letter of appreciation for your speaking out

[00:24:49] [SPEAKER_04]: on such vital principles and god's word before my wife and i were married we lived for three

[00:24:54] [SPEAKER_04]: and a half years by the dating and friendship principles that you taught we had a glorious

[00:24:59] [SPEAKER_04]: time together while being single we have been married now for almost six years one thing i can

[00:25:05] [SPEAKER_04]: say about the word of god it works the type of unselfish courtship we had has produced a very

[00:25:12] [SPEAKER_04]: blessed marriage god is honored his word and rewarded us for living by it those principles

[00:25:17] [SPEAKER_04]: have had a great impact on my life and now i'm able to affect the lives of others especially

[00:25:22] [SPEAKER_04]: my two boys chalk us up as another family that is enjoying the blessings of god in marriage

[00:25:29] [SPEAKER_02]: that's suspicious the disclaimers at the end of them are like

[00:25:37] [SPEAKER_02]: bill going to people like i need you to tell me a story that i can use in the book

[00:25:44] [SPEAKER_04]: so yeah try courtship everyone or don't i was just shaking this

[00:25:51] [SPEAKER_02]: it just that seems like such a staple of courtship and it to be so what is a staple this this whole

[00:26:00] [SPEAKER_02]: story oh bruce and boas yeah this is the prime example and the thing you should replicate

[00:26:08] [SPEAKER_04]: which just seems so loosely based on like a long lost well in most cultures tradition

[00:26:16] [SPEAKER_04]: of a kinsman redeemer and having to travel impacts to not you know die and also women having to

[00:26:25] [SPEAKER_04]: find someone to protect them and provide for them and the necessity of carrying on the line

[00:26:32] [SPEAKER_02]: yeah it just doesn't seem like a strong basis to form an entire

[00:26:39] [SPEAKER_04]: principle i mean i think people said that to bill and he was like hold my beer so

[00:26:45] [SPEAKER_04]: this is all of ideal p and ati very shoddy framework uh that he just kind of

[00:26:54] [SPEAKER_04]: said worked and people believed it because he said it so further we get into this the

[00:27:01] [SPEAKER_02]: worst it gets i can't imagine trying to come up with these things and coming up with such

[00:27:10] [SPEAKER_02]: you know you're you're develop he's developing like this whole culture and a cult

[00:27:15] [SPEAKER_02]: and he just chooses examples and stories that have no real merit to them and then he makes

[00:27:24] [SPEAKER_02]: foundational principles of the cult off of those and then he just keeps perpetuating them

[00:27:30] [SPEAKER_02]: and he's like oh that one sucked but i'm gonna do another one that's also gonna suck

[00:27:34] [SPEAKER_04]: and we're just gonna keep on going so i think next we should talk about the six purposes of marriage

[00:27:42] [SPEAKER_04]: so okay so come back next week because when when you're wonderful seven phases of godly

[00:27:48] [SPEAKER_04]: courtship work perfectly then you have six purposes of marriage oh no that you have to

[00:27:55] [SPEAKER_04]: purpose to uphold i'm just gonna use purpose as much as i can from now on now that i know it's

[00:28:00] [SPEAKER_04]: your favorite well hey please leave us a review we love hearing from you um i know on spotify it has

[00:28:13] [SPEAKER_04]: that comment feature now i the other platforms don't have that but spotify does if you listen

[00:28:19] [SPEAKER_04]: there we love reading your comments i think we can now respond to you there i'm still working

[00:28:25] [SPEAKER_04]: through the backlog of emails uh that folks sent in through the website but we are steadily working

[00:28:31] [SPEAKER_04]: on that i think i'm almost caught up on social media messages so yeah thanks for reaching out

[00:28:37] [SPEAKER_04]: we love hearing from you all please do remember to leave us a rating and review it really does

[00:28:41] [SPEAKER_04]: help push the podcast out to a greater population all right well we will be back

[00:28:47] [SPEAKER_02]: next week with more purposing purpose to come back next week and listen to next week's episode

[00:28:53] [SPEAKER_01]: purpose all right we'll be back next week thanks for listening to another episode of

[00:29:00] [SPEAKER_01]: the cult i left behind until next time don't join a cult if you enjoyed this podcast please like share

[00:29:07] [SPEAKER_01]: and subscribe and we will catch you on the next episode